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The Novelist

ruttn
"I am Rüttn Stârjnä. I am a unicorn fart. I was born out of the butthole of a unicorn called Nikaisora. Someday i'll die. Between now and then i'm going to keep my shit together and sing my fucking heart out. I love unicorns. They're my people. One day i'll write a real biography."

Blessed Thursday, September 06, 2007 |




How lovely.
Ive been waking up to see her smile while she sleeps.
And the morning kisses before i leave for work.
And the text she send to make me smile when im down.

Id like to see her smile everytime of my life.
The reason why i make it a point to see her whenever im free.

magic Monday, August 20, 2007 |



Who to have thought? Finally...
Its something significant.
Very significant.
And i'll saviour every moment of it.

Its funny how things happen when you least
expected it to happen.
And you didnt even have put in effort for it
Its just so.

Lovely.
Shocked.

But i rather waste my time with you.
Cos if ive got a bad day, you'd say
"i want you to smile"
And it'll lit up.

Danke.

I hope to return the favour.
Those goodnights and goodmornings
lets me know you're still there.
and i'll be here.

oh, and that aerosmith song...

Liebe. Liebe. Liebe.

again and again... Thursday, August 16, 2007 |



You may misunderstand me.

You may be unaware of my true existence.

I can only hope you do not care to hinder me with your judgements,
because,
i would never do so to you.
And,
I am not a criminal.

I am not disillusioned.

I am not misled.

I hope to transcend physical,
logical forms in the most surreal,
deformed but beautiful way,
like how i exactly picture my escape,
my rest,
my dreams.

I am drawn back into the womb.
And there,
in the heat, dampness
and darkness of it.

PeaceLoveFreedomHappinessTolerance
UnityHarmonyExpressionResponsibiltyRespect

Every Shining Time You Arrive Thursday, August 09, 2007 |



Change in every little desire
We were counting on forces we could not control

Shoulders straining with the endless toil
We’re nothing more than a feather moving in the wind

In the depths of my gloom
I crawl out for you
From the peaks of my joy
I crawl back into
Tearing me down evey time you smile

Every shining time you arrive...

the lazycat |


This is Maria and she is so sweet and nice.
She really knows how to make me feel better.
Izy, if it was really your plan...
heh.
Thank you.
Ive been in a happy state since i got to know her...

Passed away... Wednesday, August 08, 2007 |

Last night.


Went to meet Maria, Jules, Izy and this another capoiera guy.
We had drinks in a posh cool pub.
And we took the train home.
Yes, over to Maria's crib again.

But she wasnt feeling well.
I was at most happy when she mentioned she likes me.
But she wasnt feeling well...
On the couch, she hugged me, we slept.


My phone rang.
i woke up.

Countless hello's from me but silence from the other line .
The number belonged to my tuition class buddy when i was young.
His name was Rizzal...
I hung up.

I couldnt sleep. Maria kept woke up to ask me to sleep.
I couldnt.
5am.
I changed to get ready for work.


Woke Maria up.
Kissed and Hugged her.
Walked to the train station.
Arrived at work.

Unfamiliar number on my phone screen.
I picked up...
Only to have found out that Rizzal...
Just passed away.

His mother cried on the phone.
I couldnt help it but to cry as well.
Went to his place for my last respect.
A friend that ive spent with having plenty of fun then...

Sad, but the last time i met him was ages ago.
I paid my last respect. Met his mother.
And his mother tiold me... That.
He spoke highly of me to his mother.



I went to his room.
One of the pictures tagged on his wall...

Me and him doing the stupid faces when we were younger...

I remembered when we were down.
Constant ditched by girls for him...
And as for me, when i was stucked to liking Matilda.

We talked bout which kind of girls suits us.
Funny but he mentioned that i'll be with someone,
That is as of Maria that im getting to know now.
He mentioned i may be with a "mat salleh" or "ang moh"



Buddy... You're right this time.

It made me remembered and so i called Maria.

Text her bout my day and she called.
She was worried how i was feeling.
Thank you for making me feel better.
But im still sad and guilty...
I'll come over to your place later...


Rizzal...


You've been a great buddy.
Though we'd meet up only on Wednesdays and Thursdays for tuition,
I'll still remember our great haydays together.
Those days when we met up and skipped tuition classes...
And that day when we got chased by the freaking black dog (bone).

You're a funny guy i'd love to join in with your nonsesical jokes.
I'd not be who i am if not for you and your funny character.


Those memories will be here with me till my time comes.
For now, i can only picture you in my memory for as long as i live.
Yes, im now in the police.
Still sorta like that N.P.C.C. (Naik Pangkat Cuci Coli)

I'll miss you buddy.

May God have mercy on your soul and rest in peace.


prrrr, the pony sound. Saturday, August 04, 2007 |


hello.
And thank you very much for those who met me and wished me happy bday and all.
I really appreciate it.
Imp, thank you for bringing me to Butter Factory and bring me to hang out with you guys.
Izora, thank you for your plan. (you told me, so you know...) cos
Maria, thank you so very very much for taking care of me and forcing me to rest at your place when im having a high fever. Yes, that couch, is evil and it makes you lazy...
Cos im supposed to go to work but its that Maria's couch that makes me feel so lazzzzy to wake up and i was late for work and so i didnt turn up for work. heh.
And i woke up to a message saying one threw away the gift that was bought for me.
I mean, its not nice to let someone knows that...
Its ok if you dont want to give it to me but you shouldnt text me that.
It's just so not nice...
really.
Well, i'd say things are getting better for me now.
Flu's being a bitch but its getting better now.
Im so flabergasted to know there are people out there who still cares bout me.
Heh.
All smiles...

21 and 12 hrs old. Tuesday, July 31, 2007 |

oh! yea! yea! birthday!!! today! yeay!




......




whatever...





and let us all pray for Erin's grandfather for his departure... May he rest in peace.



Noteworthy

"There is so much you can hear, the good or the bad but its really you to decide what you want for yourself... The good stuffs maybe thought as a bad thing to different individuals. So you decide carefully. No matter how close you are to someone, there will still be different judgement, ideology, and the way you lead your life. Cos all of us are raised differently. All of us are different. The only thing thats the same is, we're all human enough to think whats good for ourself. And appreciate this that you're not being forced to do what you dont want to. You have a choice, unlike at the third world coutries, where childrens are being forced to go to war. You have a choice. Follow what you want and dont hold back. Dont be scared of what you think thats good for you and dont follow what others would do cos they may think otherwise. You are only complicating and holding back onto yourself. Things will never go anywhere if you keep on doing that. Its like you want to go France but your friends said its a boring place... Cos that split second of you holding back may be the time you cant fulfill your oxygen in your lungs anymore and then, you will regret... Regretting is a wasteful emotion. Think about it. You may have top 10 doctors and phsychiatrists to give you advices here and there but neither of them will work if you dont know what you want for yourself. This is for everyone and you espcially. And you know who you are... "




answer the call



The Sturmbannwehrmachts.

Matilda
Enemiko
Erin
Sharr
Fai
Aeriel

Meet my braindead music.


Fraktur! Fraktur!